Top Golf Jokes

Golf Related Jokes - Top Funny Golf Jokes

Golf is hard, you have to have a good sense of humor and laugh a lot. Here are some jokes related to the wonderful game of golf. 

#1-  After a particularly poor round, a golfer spotted a lake as he walked despondently up the 18th.

He looked at his caddie and said, “I’ve played so badly all day, I think I’m going to drown myself in that lake.”

The caddie, quick as a flash, replied, “I’m not sure you could keep your head down that long.”

⚡ Zing!

⛳ #2:  Where can you find 100 doctors all at the same place on any given day?

A golf course!

⛳ #3- What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?

When a golfer lies, he doesn’t have to bring anything home to prove it.

⛳ #4- A golfer standing at a tee overlooking a river sees a couple of fishermen and says to his partner, “Look at those two idiots fishing in the rain.”

#5- A hacker was playing so badly that his caddie was getting increasingly exasperated. 

On the 11th, his ball lay about 160 yards from the green and as he eyed up the shot, he asked his caddie, “Do you think I can get there with a 4-iron?”

“Eventually,” replied the caddie, wearily.

#6- Golf balls are like eggs.

⛳ They’re white.

⛳ Sold by the dozen.

⛳ And a week later you have to buy some more.

#7- Golfer to caddie: “Why do you keep looking at your watch? I find it very distracting.”

Caddie: “It’s not a watch, sir – it’s a compass.”

#8- After slicing his tee shot into the woods, a golfer heads off in search of his ball, which he finds behind a large tree.

After considering his position — and not wanting to take a drop and lose a stroke — he decides to hook the ball around the tree. He swings, the ball hits the tree, ricochets back at him, and instantly kills him.

When he opens his eyes, he sees the Pearly Gates and St. Peter standing before him. “Am I dead?” he asks.

“Yes, my son,” replies St. Peter, who looks the man over and notices his clubs.

“I see you’re a golfer,” St. Peter says. “Are you any good?”

“Hey, I got here in two, didn’t I?”

#9 - How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?


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